Newsletter 16: Happy New Year… Already??!!
Well, here it is, the very last day of 2015, and I’m finally going to get this veryoverdue newsletter out. It is totally unbelievable to me how my experience of time has changed so much in the last few years… it seems just like yesterday that I was facing this same quandary last year when I was preparing my last newsletter of 2014! And, not only that, but it has been almost 6 months since my last “monthly” newsletter!!
So, Where Have I Been?
I’m not going to apologize for this unintended delay, but I will offer my best explanation. It seems that there are two main reasons for this lapse… the first is that it has nothing to do with the usual “writer’s block” that so many of us run into
when we try to compose this kind of newsletter… actually, it is just the opposite: I have too much information to choose from! And, to make things even more challenging, the “information” that I have available to write from, keeps changing and mutating as my “understanding of reality” keeps expanding.
For example, as most of you know, I have been using Greg Kuhn’s material (based on his books about quantum physics, and the effect it has on our “reality”, and often referred to as the game of “Grow a Greater You”) as the basis of my coaching “philosophy”. Of course, there are many other “tools” in my coaching toolbox (go here for more info), but this has been the “core” of how I coach my clients, most of whom have come to me by way of their interest in taking Greg’s material to the next level. However, during the course of the time that the client and I work together, we inevitably begin to wonder into different elements of “personal growth” that are way outside (beyond?) the intent and expectations inherent in that process. As I explore these “new frontiers”, the “problems” keep morphing and changing in ways that cause me to have to find new and different techniques to move past these “blocks”… it is all continually evolving! Which brings me to reason number two:
Who Knows What’s Best for You?
The second reason for the “gap” between newsletters is that I have been hesitant to move into this “new area” of the coaching relationship, even though I see it as the natural next step in the process. Since almost all my clients come to me via their interest in Greg’s material (and his implied “steps to success”), I find it rather incongruent and out of integrity to take them into areas that are obviously NOT in alignment with that “philosophy”. In other words, would it be fair and ethical to introduce my clients to this “expanded process” when they have not explicitly asked for it?
Sure, I can rationalize it by saying “it’s for their own good” (as if I knew what thatshould or could look like!) but in truth, they are the ones who need to make the request for assistance in that area, or to at least have the ability to make a conscious, informed choice about it. And there is the crux of the problem: how can they make a conscious, informed decision on what they “need” and “want” if they aren’t able to “see” the choices because of where they presently are? If, for example, you (as a mature adult) saw a child playing with a sharp knife or a pair of scissors, you would (justifiably?) remove the “perceived danger” and replace it with a suitable, safer and “more fun” toy (much to the dismay of the child!). Does this same rational carry over to a client/coach relationship? Do I have the right (or maybe even the responsibility) to make that decision for the the client?
Making Mountains from Imagined Mole Hills?
Maybe I’m making too much out of all this, but from my perspective, it seems worthy of more than a casual thought. And, obviously, depending on which way Iresolve the issue, I am also choosing the direction that my coaching practice will be going in the future. At this point, I’m simply playing it be ear, regardless of the client’s original intention for having started in this process, and I’m informing each client about their new choices as they evolve though the process. Sometime in the near future, within the next month or so, I will making a more firm decision on what direction I will moving, and I will do my best to keep you informed. If you are a former client, or a new or perspective client who wants to explore what this all may mean for you, please contact me here on my blog, or by signing up for a free intro session , or by email (see contact info below).
In closing, I’d like to say a big “Thank You” to all my clients, and especially to Greg Kuhn, for having been in my life this past year… knowing, and interacting, with
a each of you has enriched my life “Beyond Belief”, and there simply are no words that can express the appreciation and gratitude that I hold in my heart for the contribution each of you has made in my life… many Blessings, and much Light and Love to you all in the coming New Year!!
As you can see by now, I even blew my “end of year” deadline by a week, but I felt I had to get this one out to you. The reason for this delay is that, after I wrote the first part of this newsletter, I started having many more insights into even newer (and better?) directions to go in with my coaching business… where does it end? Or, maybe it never ends ;-)
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ECAP Tip of the Month: One of the biggest pitfalls that I’ve found in this process is to keep looking at the “external evidence” for “proof” that you are making progress toward your goal. I know it may seem counter-intuitive, and maybe even counter-productive, to follow this “rule”, but it is very important to overcome the “habit” of measuring your internal “wellness” by what seems to be happening outside of you. You cannot allow yourself to be dissuaded by the “stories” that come up as an ego-response to temporary (and false) perceptions of “failure”. Stay focused on the end result, and the feelings you will experience when you “get there” , as if you already have it, now… that is what will bring you the results you want (and deserve) in the shortest time possible!!
Contact Info: If you want to contact me, set up a free and confidential intro session, subscribe to my newsletter, or view an archive of past newsletters, and audio files of past teleconferences , you can visit my website at: BeyondBeliefCoaching.com. If you would like to read or comment on this, or past newsletters, or if you want to peruse my other brilliant offerings, you can visit my blog here at Frankly Speaking.
Miscellaneous: I’m not a big proponent of all the hoopla that seems to be so prevalent around all the holidays, but I do like to use the “spirit” of this holy season to remind myself and others that we all have so much to be thankful for. I know that there is still much unneeded suffering and despair in many parts of the world, and that at times it can seem to be a hopeless situation, but I still feel that there is an “answer”, and that it all begins right here, right now, with each of us making a commitment to experience peace and joy in our own internal world. Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world!!
Quote of the Week: “This New Year’s Eve you can lay the groundwork for continued growth without making any resolutions except one—to let go of the past, connect with yourself, to Wake Up, and be Present.” The Enneagram Institute