Newsletter 15: What I’ve learned from Living in the Void

As a continuation of the theme of my last newsletter, which was an exploration into the experiences I was having as a result of ending my 40+ year nicotine addiction, I’ll try to share more of the insights, breakthroughs and challenges that have been a part of my journey to “smobriety” (smoking sobriety). My intention is that, by “getting honest” about my experience, I’ll be able to internalize and integrate the impact this has had on me, while at the same time possibly offering you a glimpse of hope and understanding for dealing with any addiction or compulsive behaviors you (or someone you love) may be struggling with.

Beware the Smoke Screen!

One of the BIG insights I’ve had is that the ritualistic use of cigarettes was only aImage result for compulsive behavior image“smoke screen” for some deeper issues that have been a persistent cause of pain and suffering for most of my life… I had used nicotine to numb myself out to the point that I was no longer able to feel much of the background anxiety and fear that had become so seemingly overwhelming over these many years. The reason I say that these feelings had become “seemingly overwhelming” is that, by not dealing with them in a “healthy” way, I had allowed them to become not only almost “invisible”, but much more persistent and damaging than they had originally been. And, although it may sound like a good idea to “soothe myself” any way that I could, the use of any drug or compulsive behavior in an attempt to free oneself from the normal ups and downs of life challenges, ends up causing many more problems than it solves.

Feeling Stuck?

I have come to see that all of us have acquired many beliefs, habits and “stories” to help us not only cope with all the confusion and chaos that growing up in this world entails, but to actually help us to survive what must have seemed like a very dangerous and confusing place to any baby/child trying to make sense of the insane, and often dysfunctional, environment most of us were raised in. We’ve held and repeated these stories, behaviors and beliefs for so long that we’ve forgotten that we made them up and they’ve become our “truth”. And, worse than the fact that they’ve become unconsciously repetitive and addictive, these “patterns of salvation” actually work against our being able to attain the very things we so desperately want and desire!!

Who is “ME”, anyway?

Yes, that’s right… the “personal-self” that we each created, as a response to whatever challenges we faced as infants, not only serves to NOT get us what weImage result for lost selfare looking for, it actually blocks us from manifesting the life we want and deserve. So, for example, let’s say that, for whatever reason, we became suddenly aware that we were not getting the care we felt we needed from those “giants” (our parents) who were responsible for our survival and well-being. We conclude (with little or no evidence, and with a very limited ability to process whatever “evidence” was available) that we are defective in some way, and therefore not capable of being loved (otherwise known as being “unlovable”).

The Story Begins

From that erroneous story/belief, we start experimenting with different behaviors and actions until we find something that “works” to get us the “response” we feel will engender the best chance to feel safe and to survive. We may find that crying gets us the most attention; or, we may find acting cute elicits the desired response; or, maybe we discover that by analyzing and understanding the world around us, we can safely predict (and avoid) any and all “dangerous” situations. There are many theories on why and how these childhood dynamics contribute to each of our chosen personalities, but what is very obvious to anyone who is willing to look honestly and objectively at this “birth of self”, is that as the pattern is repeated often enough, over a long period of time, it becomes internalized and unconscious… it becomes the “truth”!

Related imageAnd, since you “know” at a very deep level that you are defective and unlovable, you also know that despite all your “trickery” and learned behaviors, and in spite of an occasional “victory” (someone finally “pretends” that they care for you), that these moments of “fun and affection” are not only temporary and fleeting, but also just another lie that proves you were right in the first place: “I am broken and defective… there is nothing I can do to ‘fix’ it!”

I just want to feel better!!

This is the point where each of us usually picks up some way of easing the pain and suffering… my preferred “drug” has been nicotine, but there is an endless list of escape routes that help us to numb out. And, once you choose to stop using the “drug”, you will not only be faced with the pain of withdrawal, you will now need to deal with the stuff you’ve been avoiding, but without the “crutch”. It is pretty easy to see why so many people relapse, and why having some kind of structure and support (12-step programs like AA, etc) would be so useful in quitting and staying “clean”.

So, what does this have to do with me? For one thing, it has become painfullyImage result for loved baby faceclear to me that this commitment to being “clean and sober” is going to take quite a bit more time and effort than I had originally thought… there seem to be many more layers to the overlooked and “hidden” pain I’ve been avoiding all these years than I had expected. Another challenge is that, even though I have been “smober” for over 6 months, I still often crave a ciggie, and it looks like that may go on for a long time. Yes, I feel much better physically, and my ability to smell and taste is continually improving (not always a good thing ;-) and it’s a nice side benefit to have stopped burning holes in my clothes, furniture and carpets, plus no longer walking around smelling like an ashtray.

To Feel, or not to Feel… that is the question!!

And, although it is not always very comfortable, the thing I’m really loving about this whole adventure is that I’m getting much better at feeling, and I’m also developing something that has been missing most of my life: a strong connection to my True, Authentic Self. This is really the “gift” of any meaningful “change work”… it is the “thing” everyone is searching for, and is the source of true happiness and fulfillment in this thing we call “life”. And, just in case you hadn’t noticed, this is the same process that I use every day to free my clients from the devastating and self-limiting effects of the thought patterns, beliefs and stories of the personality they’ve become addicted to believing is “who they are”.

A Note from the Author (and an apology)

My apologizes for taking so long to get this edition out, and for the meandering and possibly confusing content of this newsletter… each time I sat down to write this article, I was in the midst of so many changes and “shifts” that it became almost impossible to have a static and coherent thought-stream that could lend itself to actually writing this thing. As the end of the month approached, I decided to just take a “snapshot” of where I was at the time and do the best I could to express my thoughts at this time. Many thanks to my wife, Helga, for editing this and for helping me to stay focused and “sane” while trying to write it!

===== This, That and The Other Thing ====

ECAP Tip of the Month: As I said in the last newsletter, one of the safest ways to explore the realm of your “inner self”, and TRUTH that awaits you there, is to spend some time doing the Presence Breathing Technique (PBT) which is defined here. And, as you establish a more intimate relationship with your authentic Self, you will be able to use the ECAP to clean up all the “stuck energy” and “blocks” that have been keeping you “stuck in your stuff”. Of course, if you really want to explore this whole “realm”, you can always set up a free appointment with me! (See info below)

Contact Info: If you want to contact me, set up a free and confidential introImage result for Happinesssession, subscribe to my newsletter, or view an archive of past newsletters, and audio files of past teleconferences , you can visit my website at: BeyondBeliefCoaching.com. If you would like to read or comment on this, or past newsletters, or if you want to peruse my other brilliant offerings, you can visit my blog at Frankly Speaking.

Miscellaneous: One project I’m working on is to present a live online video workshop to explore and explain how to use the ECAP, and the material from Greg’s books, to get the results you are looking for. This will be a free webinar, and will be archived on YouTube as a resource for anyone who wants to know more about playing the game of “Grow A Greater You”… further details will be included in future editions of this newsletter and on Greg’s site.

Also, I am collecting input from my clients, my subscribers, and from anyone else interested in taking part in a journey to explore how we all might take this process to the next level. I will be sharing more information about this as it unfolds, but for now, please feel free to contact me about this (or any other point of interest) if you are so moved.

Quote of the Week: What you see reflects your thinking. And your thinking but reflects your choice of what you want to see. “ (ACIM p. 231)

NAMASTE!!

Newsletter 14: How do you Avoid the Void?

In my last newsletter, I disclosed that I was in the process of freeing myself of my addiction to nicotine, and I’m happy to say that I’ve now been “smober” for over 110 days (and have NOT smoked over 4400 cigarettes!!)… wow!! and, best of all, I’m now beginning to experience the many benefits that come from returning to “normal breathing” after over 40 years of suffocating myself while allowing myself to be victimized by this disgusting habit. And, as always, I’ve used this experience as a way to explore the deeper impact that this addiction had on my reality, at every level, and my intention is to share my insights here in hopes that others might benefit from my experiences. You are probably wondering what all this has to do with the Void (as mentioned in the title, above)… please be patient as I try to bring a little clarity to all this…

My Premise is…

that there is a void or emptiness to life that we are all aware of, at least at the periphery of our ‘normal’ existence, that each of tries desperately to avoid.Image result for addictionMostly, we aren’t even consciously aware that this void is there because we are so busy with our day-to-day lives that we don’t notice it, but when we do touch upon it, usually as a form of a ‘negative’ feeling, there is a natural drive to not be in it… to move away from it in some way. We use all kind of ways to repress, suppress, deny or project these ‘uncomfortable feelings’… we’ll do almost anything to feel better. One of our favorite “tools” to free ourselves of this discomfort is the use of some sort of addictive substance or behavior.

What is Addiction?

I’m going to guess that most of you believe you have a pretty good idea of what an addiction is, and there are probably quite a few who have dealt with some form of it, either in yourself or in someone you knew. My contention is that almost everyone has some form of addiction, which I define as anything that is used to avoid, suppress or get rid of any uncomfortable or unwanted feelings or thoughts. I call it the “back-door” we all use to make ourselves feel better, and although it is pretty easy to identify the “normal and accepted” habits and substances (drugs, alcohol, nicotine, overeating, overworking, etc.), I’m also including many other habit patterns and repetitive, compulsive, and self-limiting belief structures that serve to numb us out to “what is”, especially when “what is” becomes the empty and meaningless wasteland I call the VOID.

What is the Void?

OK, so this brings us to the whole point of this discussion… when I quit smoking, I ran head-on into the same situation that everyone who stops any addictive behavior runs into: the VOID. It’s that dreaded feeling of emptiness and the associated anxiety that comes about as you go through the many phases of withdrawal and recovery, as your mind and body begins to adjust to living without the ‘crutch’. For many, this pain and suffering eventually leads either to relapse, or the substitution of any substance or habit that brings about some sort of relief. Now, I’m sure many of you are saying to yourselves: “what’s wrong with doing something to make myself feel better?” Well, maybe nothing… but, I wanted to see what would happen if I didn’t do anything to change the feelings I was experiencing… my question was: “is there a deeper source of joy and happiness that will appear if I don’t do anything to change or modify my present situation?”.

So, What happened?

Well… “I” died! And, I can attest to the fact that, contrary to what most us believe about the “horrors of the void”, it is actually the gateway to a whole new world that manifests in place of what is lost as we let go of the illusion we’ve all thought was so “real”. Of course, most of the “New Age” paradigms promise that “if you do this (whatever this is) you’ll get what you want, and then you will be happy”, so my “theory” may not sound very appealing, plus I’m not promising any instant gratification or any other “quick fix”…. the TRUTH that you’ll uncover by playing this game will only come to you as a result of a willingness to participate in a long-term soul-searching inquiry, devoid of any manufactured or imagined “pleasantries”.

So, don’t take my word for it… in fact, don’t believe what anyone has to say about this… you MUST see IT for yourself, and then you will KNOW!!Image result for be present to what is

===== This, That and The Other Thing ====

ECAP Tip of the Month: One of the safest ways to explore the Void, and it’s effects on your life, is to spend some time doing the Presence Breathing Technique (PBT) which is defined here. This is a gentle and effective way to get in touch with your inner wisdom by establishing a more intimate relationship with your authentic Self. Of course, if you really want to explore this whole “realm”, you can always set up a free appointment with me! (See info below)

Contact Info: If you want to contact me, set up a free intro session, subscribe to my newsletter, or view an archive of past newsletters, and audio files of past teleconferences , you can visit my website at: BeyondBeliefCoaching.com. If you would like to read or comment on this, or past newsletters, or if you want to peruse my other brilliant offerings, you can visit my blog at Frankly Speaking.

Miscellaneous: One project I’m working on is to present a live video online workshop to explore and explain how to use the ECAP, and the material from Greg’s books, to get the results you are looking for. This will be a free webinar, and will be archived on YouTube as a resource for anyone who wants to know more about playing the game of “Grow A Greater You”… further details will be included in future editions of this newsletter and on Greg’s site.

Also, I am collecting input from my clients, my subscribers, and from anyone else interested in taking part in a journey to explore how we all might take this process to the next level. I will be sharing more information about this as it unfolds, but for now, please feel free to contact me about this (or any other point of interest) if you are so moved.

Quote of the Week: All that is necessary to awaken to yourself as the radiant emptiness of spirit is to stop seeking something more or better or different, and to turn your attention inward to the awake silence that you are.” ~ Adyashanti

NAMASTE!!

Newsletter 13: What happened to January? And February?

The only way I can start this newsletter is to offer my deepest apology to everyone for being so late with this edition… my commitment has been to publish these newsletters on a monthly basis, and this one was due out in January! So, I’m 2 months late, and I really don’t have a good excuse for the delay other than to say that, since the first of the year, my life has been in constant upheaval… let me explain a bit:

Ahhh… The Smoke is Beginning to Clear!

Like everyone else, I’ve had the usual run of personal and professional responsibilities that “had” to beImage result for image: quit smokingtaken care of (taxes, client issues, home and auto repairs, etc.), but what has really thrown me off my schedule is my decision (right after the first of the year) to finally tackle something that has been an ongoing “issue” for many years: my addiction to nicotine! I’m not going to go into all the details of how that went here (I’m writing a separate “story” about that journey on my blog, Frankly Speaking), but I will discuss how some of the aspects of that struggle has impacted this newsletter.

My Disclaimer

Before I go much further, I feel I need to dispel a myth that some of you may be holding onto: coaches (and other “people-helpers”) are already totally ‘perfect’ and don’t have all the same ‘issues’ that ‘normal people’ have… the truth is that just about everyone I know (including ME) has ‘stuff’ that they are dealing with… no one needs to be ‘fully healed’ before they can be of service to others. I was very hesitant to admit my ‘human weakness’, but have decided that it was much more important to share my journey (in hopes of being of some value to others) than to try to pretend I was without “sin”!

Okay… On with the show….

Like most people who have tried to deal with this powerful addiction, I’ve attempted to quit smoking onImage result for research quit smokingmore than a few occasions in the past, only to eventually succumb to the cravings, despite all my efforts and best intentions. This time, I wanted to really be sure to get past it and be rid of all its debilitating effects. I researched and read as much as I could about cigarettes, nicotine, and addictions in general, and even hired an “addictions coach”, which, in retrospect, was probably the number one best thing I could ever have done for myself.

Part of my Path to Recovery

My coach had me fill out some very confronting forms, which helped me to get a good look at how I was feeding my addiction… he also had me read some material that totally blew my mind (which is the root cause of my delayed newsletters… more on this later) and he strongly suggested that I join a Nicotine Anonymous 12 Step Group, which I did (after much hesitancy).

I officially had my last cigarette at midnight on Jan. 29th, and have remained nicotine free, one day at a time, ever since. Needless to say that after over 45 yrs. of continuous daily smoking (2-3 packs per day), the absence of nicotine from my system has brought about many physical improvements, but what has really affected me in the most unexpected way is how it has altered my psychological, emotional and spiritual states of being.

Some of the Results:

And, as I said earlier, I’m not going to go into ALL the ways this has shown up for me, but I will say that itImage result for joy of quit smokinghas removed many blocks that had been preventing me from fully experiencing life as it is… my consciousness was altered, and I was numbed out and intoxicated by this powerful drug, and I’m now learning to see and live life from a perspective that I had lost sight of over these past years. It is like waking up from a dream, and although I’m really enjoying it, I’m finding it somewhat challenging to adjust to this new level of perception. Almost every single activity in my life had been associated with holding a cigarette and filling my system with nicotine, and now I’m faced with the daunting task of learning to function “normally” and to deal with life on life’s terms.

And, in Conclusion

So, what has all this got to do with my coaching and our attempts at playing the game of “Grow A Greater You”? As I look back at how I’ve navigated through this ‘adventure’, I realize that the number one tool that has helped me the most is the application of all the steps in the Emotional Chart Atonement ProcessImage result for joy of quit smoking(ECAP), especially the Presence Breathing Technique (PBT). Allowing myself to be fully present to my feelings and experiences, and journaling about it as the ‘nicotine fog’ lifted, had a deeply profound effect on me, in ways that are still unfolding in my life. When I let myself be fully in the here and now with my imagined fears, they all dissipated and effortlessly dissolved… it was that simple… who would have thought?!

Because of the complexity and depth of all this, this newsletter has been particularly challenging to write, and not just because I don’t know what to say, but mostly I don’t know how to express what I’m feeling… words seem so inadequate in these situations, and I find myself helplessly stumbling around in an attempt to get this all into some kind of coherent and impactful form. Hopefully, there will be something of value for you in all this… certainly, I can’t control your experience, but my intention is that you will take something personally meaningful from what I’ve written here today… thank you for allowing me to be of service to you!

PS be sure to return to my blog to get the whole story on this… and, thank you for being here!

===== This, That and The Other Thing ====

Teleseminars/Archives info: On Thursday, December 11th, Greg and I hosted another teleconference, and we had a great time playing with the largest audience we’ve ever had. Thank you to everyone who participated, especially those new members from the GAGY Facebook site. Your ‘gift’ allows Greg and I to fulfill our desire to be of service to you, and for that we are extremely grateful. We are all working on ways to expand these services… thank you for your patience

You can find the archives of all the past teleseminars on my website, here. Greg also has a link to these archives on his blog site, plus a ton of other info, including a schedule of his upcoming live events and a list of his great books.

ECAP Tip of the Month: The most powerful tool each of us has in overcoming any unwanted belief orImage result for light of awarenesshabit is to bring our full awareness to the situation. By simply being fully present, in a objective, non-judgmental way, we are using the healing light of our awareness to shine away the imagined limitations that we think are preventing us from living more fully. These “old stories” can only exist in the darkness of our denial… what we resist, persists!!

Contact Info: If you want to contact me, set up a free intro session, subscribe to my newsletter, or view an archive of past newsletters, you can visit my website at: BeyondBeliefCoaching.com. If you would like to read or comment on this, or past newsletters, or if you want to peruse my other brilliant offerings, you can visit my blog at Frankly Speaking.

Miscellaneous: One project I’m working on is to present a live video online workshop to explore and explain how to use the ECAP, and the material from Greg’s books, to get the results you are looking for. This will be a free webinar, and will be archived on YouTube as a resource for anyone who wants to know more about playing the game of “Grow A Greater You”… further details will be included in future editions of this newsletter and on Greg’s site.

Also, I am collecting input from my clients, my subscribers, and from anyone else interested in taking part in a journey to explore how we all might take this process to the next level. I will be sharing more information about this as it unfolds, but for now, please feel free to contact me about this if you are so moved.

Quote of the Week: Smoking cigarettes is like stabbing yourself in the chest while believing that it feels good… FMC

NAMASTE!!

Newsletter 12: The Joy of Giving and Receiving

Well, here we are again in the middle of the holiday season, with Christmas fast approaching. As a child, Ican remember this being the most anticipated time of the year, and as far as I was concerned, it couldn’t get here fast enough. For me, this has changed over the years, and I’ve noticed that much of the excitement and anticipation of ‘getting something’ for Christmas has slowly evolved into a different, deeper appreciation of the real rewards this season can hold.

This isn’t to say that I don’t still look forward to, and fully enjoy, receiving gifts, especially when someone takes the time to figure out what I need or want without asking me. But rather, I look forward much more to receiving the ‘gift of giving’…. to be able to give something that allows me to ‘get back more than I gave’. And, it is my deepest desire to make this my ongoing way of being in the world, not just for this season, but all through the year.

What does it mean to “give to receive”?

In a nutshell, this concept can be summarized in the familiar saying: “to give is to receive”, but what doesthat really mean? Looked at logically, if I give you something, you now have ‘more’ and I have ‘less’… how could that possibly feel good? And, if I were to continue doing that, eventually I would have nothing left… hardly a recipe for a sustainable feeling of abundance, at least from my perspective.

That being said, I think we’ve all experienced a great deal of joy and ‘warmth’ at certain times when we’ve offered someone a ‘gift’… but, how could that happen if we adhered to the ‘rules of the world’? Some other kind of ‘transaction’ must have taken place if we gave, yet didn’t feel deprived or ‘lessened’ by the experience. I wonder what the difference is?

Unconditional Giving

What about that ‘inner warmth’ we’ve all felt during those times when we were able to give unconditionally and unselfishly from the ‘heart’, with no expectation of ‘reward’ or even acknowledgment? My belief is that,in those moments, we are operating from the lofty spiritual perspective of our Soul, where we experience ourselves as ‘one’ with the ‘other’. In this kind of ‘giving’, there is no separation between the ‘giver’ and the ‘receiver’… there is only the reality of our True Self as an integral part of the Whole. At those times, we are looking past the illusion of being ‘separate bodies’, and we are able to see each ‘other’ as One Self, and we KNOW at some level that we are participating fully in our undeniable and eternal Truth.

But, is it sustainable?

At this point, maybe you’re wondering how you ‘made it happen’… how did this particular experience manifest despite all the self-limiting ‘programming’ we’ve all been indoctrinated with? Most likely, you didn’t consciously intend to ‘give’ in that way, yet you felt the undeniable difference. However you did it, for thatmoment you were able to be ‘real’ and authentic, and it felt so good that you most certainly would like to have it happen more often. But how?

There is a way to be in the world that creates the possibility of this experience more consistently… in fact, with a little patience and persistence, it can become your permanent way of ‘beingness’. It simply comes from setting a firm intention to be open to every opportunity that allows you to express your ‘gifts’ into the world for the benefit of everyone, including yourself. This is called ‘being of service’, and when you make that commitment, it will bring about endless openings for you to contribute to the healing of the world in many unimaginable ways.

But, I have nothing left to give!!

Now, maybe you feel you have nothing of value to ‘give’. While it may be temporarily true that you don’t have material resources that you can give away, all of us have many talents and abilities that would be of great value to others who are in need. And, even if you doubt that you do have these ‘assets’, the best way to prove that you do have them is to give them away. Simply start by being willing to selflessly give of yourself in any way that you can, and let yourself naturally respond to each opportunity that shows up. I think you will be pleasantly surprised!

Sounds nice, but what’s in it for me?

Besides the obvious ‘positives’ of playing this ‘game’, there are many ‘fringe benefits’: by taking your mind off of ‘me’, and its never ending quest of ‘getting’, and by instead focusing on other’s ‘needs’, you might be delightfully surprised that all your needs and wants are being met before you’ve even noticed you had them. This will bring you into direct contact with the all-encompassing Power, Wisdom and Abundance of the Universe, and you will get to experience firsthand of how IT has always reflected back to you exactly what you are ‘vibrating’. Simply put, if you continue to live from ‘lack’, your world will reflect lack and scarcity back to you… if you choose to live from Love, that is all you will see!!

In Conclusion….

I love this subject, and I could go on forever about it, but I need to end this discussion somewhere, so I guess I’ll close it here. There has been volumes written about this, and I’m sure you can find plenty of ways to implement it into your life, if you truly desire to understand it better. I wanted to end this with a ‘prayer’that reflects my deepest and most heartfelt wishes for you as you continue your journey to wholeness and sanity in the coming new year:

May you come to find the true Joy of Being Who You Really Are… may your way be made clear and easily navigable as you become aware of, undo and let go of all the ‘blocks’ to Love’s Presence in YOU. May you have a totally undeniable experience of the wondrous and infinitely perfect essence of your True Self, and may you live always and ever in the Joy, Peace, Love, Light and Abundance of the Eternally Loving One Mind of God. Amen”

===== This, That and The Other Thing ====

Teleseminars/Archives info: On Thursday, December 11th, Greg and I hosted another teleconference, and we had a great time playing with the largest audience we’ve ever had. Thank you to everyone who participated, especially those new members from the GAGY Facebook site. Your ‘gift’ allows Greg and I to fulfill our desire to be of service to you, and for that we are extremely grateful.

If you missed it, or if you’d like to listen to it again, you can find the archives of all the past teleseminars on my website, here. Greg also has a link to these archives on his blog site, plus a ton of other info, including a schedule of his upcoming live events and a list of his great books.

ECAP Tip of the Month: There are always two parts to giving and receiving… your intention to give, and your willingness to receive. Take a moment to become aware of how open you are to allowing others to be of service to you. What could possibly be in you that would prevent others from receiving the gift of giving (to you)? Start right now to be more ‘ready to receive’ and be willing to let go of anything that might have blocked your awareness of the Love that already surrounds you.

Contact Info: If you want to contact me, set up a free intro session, subscribe to my newsletter, or view an archive of past newsletters, you can visit my website at: BeyondBeliefCoaching.com. If you would like to read or comment on this, or past newsletters, or if you want to peruse my other brilliant offerings, you can visit my blog right here!

Miscellaneous: One project I’m working on is to present a live video online workshop to explore and explain how to use the ECAP, and the material from Greg’s books, to get the results you are looking for. This will be a free webinar, and will be archived on YouTube as a resource for anyone who wants to know more about playing the game of “Grow A Greater You”… further details will be included in future editions of this newsletter and on Greg’s site.

Quote of the Week: “I slept and I dreamed that life is all joy. I woke and I saw that life is all service. I served and I saw that service is joy.” ― Kahlil Gibran

Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” ― Lao Tzu

May the blessings of this Holiday Season fill your heart and nourish your soul throughout the coming new year…

In Excelsis Deo

NAMASTE!!

Newsletter 11: Appreciation and Gratitude

Appreciation and Gratitude

Each year, with the approach of the Holiday Season, I’m always delightfully surprised by the way most peoplebegin to treat each other so much better… and, as far back as I can remember, I’ve always wondered why it can’t be that way all the time. I mean, why does it seem that we need a certain date to start being and acting in a more loving and kind way to each other? What prevents us from celebrating each moment, of each day, in a way that enlivens and enriches our lives? Why do we need an ‘excuse’ to allow ourselves to feel this way throughout the year?

Are You Stuck in the Grind?

It’s not too difficult to see that most of us are so caught up with the ‘responsibilities’ and challenges of daily living that we seldom seem to have the time to pause a moment to consider how we would like our lives to really be. We rush around, from one ‘urgent’ task to another, fully immersed in the day to day activities that seem to consume all our energy and attention. We are over-stressed, over-worked, and under-fulfilled… we barely have the energy, or desire, to do anything more than to ‘survive’. At the end of the day, we slump on the couch, mindlessly watching television. and wonder if this is all there is to life? Can this be all there is?

Maybe There is Another Way

Let’s stop a moment to consider some alternatives. But first, you will need to acknowledge and accept where you are now… How much time do you spend each day to allow yourself to be present to what is going on in and around you, to notice the little things that bring you joy and happiness? Do you purposely bring your attention to what makes you feel better, or have you fallen into the routine of only finding ‘what’s wrong’? Do you have a persistent gnawing feeling that even when things are going well, it won’t last, and there is some kind of impending doom just around the corner? What is your underlying expectation of what life will bring you?

Choosing to Feel Better

If, after taking an honest look at your present situation, you feel somewhat depressed or hopeless about your ability to have it be any different, please rest assured that it doesn’t need to be this way, and that there are easy, simple steps you can take to create a more empowering and fulfilling life. The one habit that I’ll be exploring here is the practice of appreciation and gratitude, but I assure you there are many other ways to hop off that treadmill you may presently seem to be on.

Yes, You Can Choose It!

So, the next step is to make the commitment that you DO want to experience something more fun andfulfilling… and that you are willing to do something that will improve your ‘happiness quotient’. Then, just set an intention that you will begin to notice each little instance in your surroundings that reflects something ‘positive’ and life-affirming. Start with little things like appreciating that you are alive and well, and that you are breathing and that your body is carrying on countless functions with little or no conscious effort… that, regardless of your situation, you are still here, and capable of making small changes that could affect you, and the lives of those you love, in so many ways. Notice that when you move to pick something up, all you did is make a decision on what you wanted to do, and your body magically responded to your tiny command, and accomplished the task without you having to control each of the millions of micro-movements needed to reach your goal. We are all surrounded with countless similar examples, and I’m sure that if you take the time and this small effort to explore all the possibilities, you can come up with an endless list.

Express Your Thankfulness

As you begin to notice and discover all these new ‘wonders’, take a moment to express your gratitude for the many ‘gifts’ that the Universe has always been sending you. Feel it as deeply as you can, and allow yourself to bask in the glow of the ever-present Joy, Love, Light, Peace and Abundance that is your birthright. Know that this is taking you one step closer to living the the life you’ve always dreamt possible, but were too distracted to notice in the past. Let the momentum build as you continue to find even more to appreciate and give gratitude for. Live in the expectation that there will always be more of what you want… dare to dream big… choose to behappy, and let it all unfold in a natural and effortless way.

To the degree that you are willing to apply this simple ‘tool’ in your ongoing daily life, you will be moving closer to taking back your True Power as the Creator of Your Reality… there is no ‘other’ person or thing that can do this for you… it is always YOUR choice!

Thank you for allowing me to ‘show up’ as being of service to you on your journey to wholeness, and the return to sanity… I have no words for the gratitude I have for your part in my life. I love you… NAMASTE!

===== This, That and The Other Thing ====

Teleseminars/Archives info: Up until September 4, 2014 (GGY 29) Greg and I were hosting a one hour, totally free teleseminar every Thursday evening at 8 PM EST. We had decided to temporarily discontinue them as we explore other possibilities in the future. We’ve now decided to host at least one more show on Thursday, December 11th @ 8PM. You can join us by simply calling into this number (1-857-232-0476) and dialing this number (226919) when asked for your access code. I promise it will be fun and informative… see you there!!

You can find the archives of all the past teleseminars on my website, here. Greg also has a link to these archives on his blog site, plus a ton of other info, including a schedule of his upcoming live events and a list of his great books.

ECAP Tip of the Month: One of the best ways to add a extra ‘juice’ to the exercise I described above, is to keep an appreciation/gratitude journal. Each day, usually before bed, you can sit down and write about all those things you noticed throughout the day as you were willing to notice and mentally record the many ‘gifts’ and ‘signs’ you received. This simple practice will not only ‘lock in the learning’, but it will create a resource you can use to remind yourself of how great your life is when those ‘downturns’ occasionally pop up.

Contact Info: If you want to contact me, set up a free intro session, subscribe to my newsletter, or view an archive of past newsletters, you can visit my website at: BeyondBeliefCoaching.com. If you would like to read or comment on this, or past newsletters, or if you want to peruse my other brilliant offerings, you can visit my blog at Frankly Speaking.

Miscellaneous: One project I’m working on is to present a live video online workshop to explore and explain how to use the ECAP, and the material from Greg’s books, to get the results you are looking for. This will be a free webinar, and will be archived on YouTube as a resource for anyone who wants to know more about playing the game of “Grow A Greater You”… further details will be included in future editions of this newsletter and on Greg’s site.

Quote of the Week: By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.

Benjamin Franklin

As a side note, did you know that Benjamin Franklin wanted to make the turkey the national bird? Personally, I’m kinda glad that that never happened. ;-)

Have a very Happy Thanksgiving, and a Joyous Holiday Season!

Newsletter 10: Are You A Spiritual Zombie?

Are You a Spiritual Zombie?

I was recently chatting with my son about a “spiritual awakening” he seemed to be experiencing. During theconversation, he was describing what had been going on in his life for quite some time prior to this event. As he shared his emotional, psychological and physical conditions that had been so dominate beforehand, it struck me that he was describing something that sounded like a zombie, and I said “you were a spiritual zombie”!! His immediate response was “yes, that’s it, I was a zombie!”

Afterwords, as I was contemplating that conversation, it became obvious to me that many people exhibit at least some of these same “symptoms”, and I began to wonder how it could be “diagnosed”, and if it was possible to create a “cure”.

Signs and Symptoms

As I pondered these questions, a list of signs and symptoms of this “dis-ease” began to formulate in my mind…here are some questions you might ask yourself if you suspect that you’ve been “infected”:

  • Does life seem empty and meaningless to you?

  • Do you feel lonely, even when in a crowd?

  • Do you often feel overwhelmed by “negative emotions”?

  • Do you have a constant “gnawing feeling” in your gut that can’t be satisfied?

  • Do you spend a lot of your time and effort trying to find the “answer”?

  • Do you feel like life is out of your control and just “happening to you”?

  • Do you often feel anxious and fearful about the future?

  • Do you feel you’ve committed some unforgivable “sin” in the past?

  • Do you spend a lot of time vacillating between being a “victim” and a “victimizer”?

  • Do you feel you need to plan every detail of your life so as to avoid the next “disaster”?

  • Do you often feel “possessed”, as if someone or something else is controlling you?

  • Do you believe you are “unworthy” or “defective”?

  • Do you spend a lot of your time wishing you were someone else?

  • Do you have persistent addictions or other compulsive behaviors?

  • Do you have physical pains and ailments that seem to defy all “treatments”?

  • Do you sometimes feel like you are going crazy?

  • Have you accepted “littleness” because it’s easier to play “small” than it is to change?

Of course, this is not a complete list of the “symptoms”, but if you answered “yes” to at least one of these questions, you might want to consider the possibility that you’ve been “infected”. Fortunately, unlike a “real zombie”, there is a “cure”, and you are not doomed to spending the rest of your life in this condition.

OMG, I am a Zombie! Now what?

At this point, you may feel a deep desire to be rid of this “dis-ease”, or you might even feel more depressedbecause you can’t see a way out of this. The first step in freeing yourself from this “dis-ease” is to recognize and accept fully the fact that you “infected” yourself. I know it may seem that you somehow “caught it” from some pervasive, mysterious, and unavoidable “source”, but I can assure you that you are totally responsible for your current “condition”. Please do not read this as blame or an indictment of your “defectiveness”… as children, we were all “exposed” to this “dis-ease”, and because we were never “inoculated” against it, almost every one of us became a “host” to this insidious “virus”. Through no fault of our own, we all allowed it to “infect” us, and we’ve become so accustomed to living with the “symptoms” that we’ve forgotten how it would feel to be “well” and “normal”.

Where’s the Doctor?

We’ve all grown up with the belief that in order to be “cured” of any “ailment”, all we need to do is “take a pill”, and we will be magically healed of any “dis-ease”. I think it is quite apparent that no such “magical pill” , nor a “doctor” to “prescribe” it, exists for this “infection”. If you’ve taken the first step, as outlined above, then you’ve already initiated the healing process by taking back your power to choose, and the rest is quite simply an expansion on that theme. There are many resources available that can assist you in your return to sanity, and I would highly recommend that you find one that “resonates” with you and make the commitment to work it the best way you’re able to… this “dis-ease” has been with you most of your life, and it will take some time and effort to be rid of it. You’re ultimate healing is the best gift you could ever give yourself or the world. I hold a vision of you as already perfect, whole and healed, and my deepest wish is that you find the true happiness and fulfillment that you so richly deserve. NAMASTE!

===== This, That and The Other Thing ====

Teleseminars/Archives info: Up until September 4, 2014 (GGY 29) Greg and I were hosting a one hour, totally free teleseminar every Thursday evening at 8 PM EST. We’ve decided to temporarily discontinue them as we explore other possibilities in the future. We have thoroughly enjoyed these sessions, but feel we’ve covered just about all the important points and it’s time to move on… stay tuned for future developments.

You can find the archives of all the past teleseminars on my website, here. Greg also has a link to these archives on his blog site, plus a ton of other info, including a schedule of his upcoming live events and a list of his great books.

ECAP Tip of the Month: Take an action step each day that will bring you a little bit closer to your goal/desire. Try not to use your “brain” or logic for this action… just set an intention that you will take advantage of an opportunity that will present itself during the upcoming day. When you notice anything in your outer world that “feels” in alignment with your intention, go for it! Then, express your appreciation and gratitude for the “gift” that the Universe has sent you.

Contact Info: If you want to contact me, set up a free intro session, subscribe to my newsletter, or view an archive of past newsletters, you can visit my website at: BeyondBeliefCoaching.com. If you would like to read or comment on this, or past newsletters, or if you want to peruse my other brilliant offerings, you can visit my blog at Frankly Speaking.

Miscellaneous: One project I’m working on is to present a live video online workshop to explore and explain how to use the ECAP, and the material from Greg’s books, to get the results you are looking for. This will be a free webinar, and will be archived on YouTube as a resource for anyone who wants to know more about playing the game of “Grow A Greater You”… further details will be included in future editions of this newsletter and on Greg’s site.

Quote of the Week: “When we are lost in personality, it is not surprising that we often feel powerless, confused, and unsafe because we are basing our identity on an artificial construct.” (Understanding the Enneagram, 364)

Newsletter 9: The Presence Breathing Technique

The Presence Breathing Technique

Although I follow Greg Kuhn’s general format as described in his book “How Quantum Physicists Make New Beliefs”, there are many techniques and tools that I have introduced to assist my clients to get the best results from doing the ECAP (Emotional Chart Atonement Process). I’ll be dedicating some of my future newsletters to going into more depth on these “tools of transformation”, but for today, I’ll be discussing a very simple, yet powerful, form of meditation which I call the Presence Breathing Technique (PBT).

So, What is It?

I introduced this technique in an earlier newsletter (#7) as part of the PIQIT process, which can be found in thenewsletter archive here. Very simply, it is a breathing meditation which focuses on repeating a simple phrase, while breathing in and out slowly, using only your abdominal muscles. For a more detailed description please go here. In this deeper look at the PBT, you will see why it is such an powerful part of the process, and some of the important benefits that it will bring.

What Will It Do For Me?

By spending some time doing the PBT, we begin to create a sense of peace and quiet within ourselves… this is done as we remove our attention from the incessant clamor of our “monkey mind” and begin to focus on the silent gaps between our conscious thoughts. In that gap, we begin to connect to a part of ourselves that is wise and loving… for purposes of this conversation, I will call it Presence.

This allows us to be Present to ourselves… what is going on inside, at a deep level… we are able to get in touch with our feelings at their source, and become more aware of the stories that support our old beliefs about who we’ve come to believe we are. As we uncover these groundless, self-limiting, old beliefs, we begin to see that they have no substance and no ability to stop of us from becoming something different…. we can choose new beliefs that are in alignment with who we WANT to be, NOW.

Not only does this meditation make us more aware of our True Selves, it allows us to be fully Present when we are in the Presence of another. To me, there is nothing more loving and caring than to be totally “there” when I’m relating to another human being… I believe that there is something that is silently communicated in this kind of encounter, and it goes far beyond any words or actions that I use at that time… we are in “communion” with each other!

Another great benefit of learning this meditation is that it is something you can carry with you all through he day… it is very easy to stop a moment, anytime you feel anxious, upset or just off-center, and close your eyes (if you aren’t driving), take a few deep breaths, and repeat your phrases, or some other “mantra” you choose, to re-set your intention. This practice really goes a long ways toward having the kind of day you want… but, of course, only if you desire something different than you’ve had in the past… that part is really up to YOU!

But, What if I’m Not A “Meditator”?

One word of caution about doing the PBT… the easiest way to sabotage yourself while learning this technique is to invalidate your personal experience. Most of us have heard many stories about what meditation “should” feel like, and what others have seen or heard while meditating, and we’ve all formed an opinion of what our inner experience should be like when we are “meditating successfully”. Let go of all your expectations… it’s OK to fall asleep, or it may seem as though “nothing is happening”, or that you’re doing it wrong or that you’re not getting a “flash of light” or hearing some “big voice”… none of this matters one single bit… your experience is perfect for you… just accept it and keep practicing… relax and let it unfold in its own way… there is only one way to fail to get the promised results: stop doing the exercise!

A Final Word About the PBT…

In my experience, both from a personal level and from a coaching perspective, the PBT is one of the simplest, easiest and most effective ways to really accelerate anyone’s progress with doing the ECAP… the results I’ve outlined here are just a few of the benefits you can expect to manifest as you use this powerful tool to play the game of “Grow a Greater You”. If you want to throw rocket fuel on the bonfire of your desires, give this a try… it really works!!

===== This, That and The Other Thing ====

Teleseminars/Archives info: Up until September 4, 2014 (GGY 29) Greg and I were hosting a one hour, totally free teleseminar every Thursday evening at 8 PM EST. We’ve decided to temporarily discontinue them as we explore other possibilities in the future. We have thoroughly enjoyed these sessions, but feel we’ve covered just about all the important points and it’s time to move on… stay tuned for future developments.

You can find the archives of all the past teleseminars on my website, here. Greg also has a link to these archives on his blog site, plus a ton of other info, including a schedule of his upcoming live events and a list of his great books.

ECAP Tip of the Month: The best way to prepare yourself for doing the ECAP is to practice the PBT… I have not found a better way to bring yourself to a powerful, resourceful state than doing this exercise… plus, it will lower your blood pressure by 10 pts, while making you look much more sexy… what more could you ask for?

Contact Info: If you want to contact me, set up a free intro session, subscribe to my newsletter, or view an archive of past newsletters, you can visit my website at: BeyondBeliefCoaching.com. I would appreciate if you left any kind of comment or feedback that you feel inspired to share right here on this blog.

Miscellaneous: One project I’m working on is to present a live video online workshop to explore and explain how to use the ECAP, and the material from Greg’s books, to get the results you are looking for. This will be a free webinar, and will be archived on YouTube as a resource for anyone who wants to know more about playing the game of “Grow A Greater You”… further details will be included in future editions of this newsletter and on Greg’s site.

Quote of the Week: The world you live in is a direct reflection of Who You Think You Are… if you want a different world, become a different person.

NAMASTE!!