Newsletter 15: What I’ve learned from Living in the Void

As a continuation of the theme of my last newsletter, which was an exploration into the experiences I was having as a result of ending my 40+ year nicotine addiction, I’ll try to share more of the insights, breakthroughs and challenges that have been a part of my journey to “smobriety” (smoking sobriety). My intention is that, by “getting honest” about my experience, I’ll be able to internalize and integrate the impact this has had on me, while at the same time possibly offering you a glimpse of hope and understanding for dealing with any addiction or compulsive behaviors you (or someone you love) may be struggling with.

Beware the Smoke Screen!

One of the BIG insights I’ve had is that the ritualistic use of cigarettes was only aImage result for compulsive behavior image“smoke screen” for some deeper issues that have been a persistent cause of pain and suffering for most of my life… I had used nicotine to numb myself out to the point that I was no longer able to feel much of the background anxiety and fear that had become so seemingly overwhelming over these many years. The reason I say that these feelings had become “seemingly overwhelming” is that, by not dealing with them in a “healthy” way, I had allowed them to become not only almost “invisible”, but much more persistent and damaging than they had originally been. And, although it may sound like a good idea to “soothe myself” any way that I could, the use of any drug or compulsive behavior in an attempt to free oneself from the normal ups and downs of life challenges, ends up causing many more problems than it solves.

Feeling Stuck?

I have come to see that all of us have acquired many beliefs, habits and “stories” to help us not only cope with all the confusion and chaos that growing up in this world entails, but to actually help us to survive what must have seemed like a very dangerous and confusing place to any baby/child trying to make sense of the insane, and often dysfunctional, environment most of us were raised in. We’ve held and repeated these stories, behaviors and beliefs for so long that we’ve forgotten that we made them up and they’ve become our “truth”. And, worse than the fact that they’ve become unconsciously repetitive and addictive, these “patterns of salvation” actually work against our being able to attain the very things we so desperately want and desire!!

Who is “ME”, anyway?

Yes, that’s right… the “personal-self” that we each created, as a response to whatever challenges we faced as infants, not only serves to NOT get us what weImage result for lost selfare looking for, it actually blocks us from manifesting the life we want and deserve. So, for example, let’s say that, for whatever reason, we became suddenly aware that we were not getting the care we felt we needed from those “giants” (our parents) who were responsible for our survival and well-being. We conclude (with little or no evidence, and with a very limited ability to process whatever “evidence” was available) that we are defective in some way, and therefore not capable of being loved (otherwise known as being “unlovable”).

The Story Begins

From that erroneous story/belief, we start experimenting with different behaviors and actions until we find something that “works” to get us the “response” we feel will engender the best chance to feel safe and to survive. We may find that crying gets us the most attention; or, we may find acting cute elicits the desired response; or, maybe we discover that by analyzing and understanding the world around us, we can safely predict (and avoid) any and all “dangerous” situations. There are many theories on why and how these childhood dynamics contribute to each of our chosen personalities, but what is very obvious to anyone who is willing to look honestly and objectively at this “birth of self”, is that as the pattern is repeated often enough, over a long period of time, it becomes internalized and unconscious… it becomes the “truth”!

Related imageAnd, since you “know” at a very deep level that you are defective and unlovable, you also know that despite all your “trickery” and learned behaviors, and in spite of an occasional “victory” (someone finally “pretends” that they care for you), that these moments of “fun and affection” are not only temporary and fleeting, but also just another lie that proves you were right in the first place: “I am broken and defective… there is nothing I can do to ‘fix’ it!”

I just want to feel better!!

This is the point where each of us usually picks up some way of easing the pain and suffering… my preferred “drug” has been nicotine, but there is an endless list of escape routes that help us to numb out. And, once you choose to stop using the “drug”, you will not only be faced with the pain of withdrawal, you will now need to deal with the stuff you’ve been avoiding, but without the “crutch”. It is pretty easy to see why so many people relapse, and why having some kind of structure and support (12-step programs like AA, etc) would be so useful in quitting and staying “clean”.

So, what does this have to do with me? For one thing, it has become painfullyImage result for loved baby faceclear to me that this commitment to being “clean and sober” is going to take quite a bit more time and effort than I had originally thought… there seem to be many more layers to the overlooked and “hidden” pain I’ve been avoiding all these years than I had expected. Another challenge is that, even though I have been “smober” for over 6 months, I still often crave a ciggie, and it looks like that may go on for a long time. Yes, I feel much better physically, and my ability to smell and taste is continually improving (not always a good thing 😉 and it’s a nice side benefit to have stopped burning holes in my clothes, furniture and carpets, plus no longer walking around smelling like an ashtray.

To Feel, or not to Feel… that is the question!!

And, although it is not always very comfortable, the thing I’m really loving about this whole adventure is that I’m getting much better at feeling, and I’m also developing something that has been missing most of my life: a strong connection to my True, Authentic Self. This is really the “gift” of any meaningful “change work”… it is the “thing” everyone is searching for, and is the source of true happiness and fulfillment in this thing we call “life”. And, just in case you hadn’t noticed, this is the same process that I use every day to free my clients from the devastating and self-limiting effects of the thought patterns, beliefs and stories of the personality they’ve become addicted to believing is “who they are”.

A Note from the Author (and an apology)

My apologizes for taking so long to get this edition out, and for the meandering and possibly confusing content of this newsletter… each time I sat down to write this article, I was in the midst of so many changes and “shifts” that it became almost impossible to have a static and coherent thought-stream that could lend itself to actually writing this thing. As the end of the month approached, I decided to just take a “snapshot” of where I was at the time and do the best I could to express my thoughts at this time. Many thanks to my wife, Helga, for editing this and for helping me to stay focused and “sane” while trying to write it!

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ECAP Tip of the Month: As I said in the last newsletter, one of the safest ways to explore the realm of your “inner self”, and TRUTH that awaits you there, is to spend some time doing the Presence Breathing Technique (PBT) which is defined here. And, as you establish a more intimate relationship with your authentic Self, you will be able to use the ECAP to clean up all the “stuck energy” and “blocks” that have been keeping you “stuck in your stuff”. Of course, if you really want to explore this whole “realm”, you can always set up a free appointment with me! (See info below)

Contact Info: If you want to contact me, set up a free and confidential introImage result for Happinesssession, subscribe to my newsletter, or view an archive of past newsletters, and audio files of past teleconferences , you can visit my website at: BeyondBeliefCoaching.com. If you would like to read or comment on this, or past newsletters, or if you want to peruse my other brilliant offerings, you can visit my blog at Frankly Speaking.

Miscellaneous: One project I’m working on is to present a live online video workshop to explore and explain how to use the ECAP, and the material from Greg’s books, to get the results you are looking for. This will be a free webinar, and will be archived on YouTube as a resource for anyone who wants to know more about playing the game of “Grow A Greater You”… further details will be included in future editions of this newsletter and on Greg’s site.

Also, I am collecting input from my clients, my subscribers, and from anyone else interested in taking part in a journey to explore how we all might take this process to the next level. I will be sharing more information about this as it unfolds, but for now, please feel free to contact me about this (or any other point of interest) if you are so moved.

Quote of the Week: What you see reflects your thinking. And your thinking but reflects your choice of what you want to see. “ (ACIM p. 231)

NAMASTE!!

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Newsletter 13: What happened to January? And February?

The only way I can start this newsletter is to offer my deepest apology to everyone for being so late with this edition… my commitment has been to publish these newsletters on a monthly basis, and this one was due out in January! So, I’m 2 months late, and I really don’t have a good excuse for the delay other than to say that, since the first of the year, my life has been in constant upheaval… let me explain a bit:

Ahhh… The Smoke is Beginning to Clear!

Like everyone else, I’ve had the usual run of personal and professional responsibilities that “had” to beImage result for image: quit smokingtaken care of (taxes, client issues, home and auto repairs, etc.), but what has really thrown me off my schedule is my decision (right after the first of the year) to finally tackle something that has been an ongoing “issue” for many years: my addiction to nicotine! I’m not going to go into all the details of how that went here (I’m writing a separate “story” about that journey on my blog, Frankly Speaking), but I will discuss how some of the aspects of that struggle has impacted this newsletter.

My Disclaimer

Before I go much further, I feel I need to dispel a myth that some of you may be holding onto: coaches (and other “people-helpers”) are already totally ‘perfect’ and don’t have all the same ‘issues’ that ‘normal people’ have… the truth is that just about everyone I know (including ME) has ‘stuff’ that they are dealing with… no one needs to be ‘fully healed’ before they can be of service to others. I was very hesitant to admit my ‘human weakness’, but have decided that it was much more important to share my journey (in hopes of being of some value to others) than to try to pretend I was without “sin”!

Okay… On with the show….

Like most people who have tried to deal with this powerful addiction, I’ve attempted to quit smoking onImage result for research quit smokingmore than a few occasions in the past, only to eventually succumb to the cravings, despite all my efforts and best intentions. This time, I wanted to really be sure to get past it and be rid of all its debilitating effects. I researched and read as much as I could about cigarettes, nicotine, and addictions in general, and even hired an “addictions coach”, which, in retrospect, was probably the number one best thing I could ever have done for myself.

Part of my Path to Recovery

My coach had me fill out some very confronting forms, which helped me to get a good look at how I was feeding my addiction… he also had me read some material that totally blew my mind (which is the root cause of my delayed newsletters… more on this later) and he strongly suggested that I join a Nicotine Anonymous 12 Step Group, which I did (after much hesitancy).

I officially had my last cigarette at midnight on Jan. 29th, and have remained nicotine free, one day at a time, ever since. Needless to say that after over 45 yrs. of continuous daily smoking (2-3 packs per day), the absence of nicotine from my system has brought about many physical improvements, but what has really affected me in the most unexpected way is how it has altered my psychological, emotional and spiritual states of being.

Some of the Results:

And, as I said earlier, I’m not going to go into ALL the ways this has shown up for me, but I will say that itImage result for joy of quit smokinghas removed many blocks that had been preventing me from fully experiencing life as it is… my consciousness was altered, and I was numbed out and intoxicated by this powerful drug, and I’m now learning to see and live life from a perspective that I had lost sight of over these past years. It is like waking up from a dream, and although I’m really enjoying it, I’m finding it somewhat challenging to adjust to this new level of perception. Almost every single activity in my life had been associated with holding a cigarette and filling my system with nicotine, and now I’m faced with the daunting task of learning to function “normally” and to deal with life on life’s terms.

And, in Conclusion

So, what has all this got to do with my coaching and our attempts at playing the game of “Grow A Greater You”? As I look back at how I’ve navigated through this ‘adventure’, I realize that the number one tool that has helped me the most is the application of all the steps in the Emotional Chart Atonement ProcessImage result for joy of quit smoking(ECAP), especially the Presence Breathing Technique (PBT). Allowing myself to be fully present to my feelings and experiences, and journaling about it as the ‘nicotine fog’ lifted, had a deeply profound effect on me, in ways that are still unfolding in my life. When I let myself be fully in the here and now with my imagined fears, they all dissipated and effortlessly dissolved… it was that simple… who would have thought?!

Because of the complexity and depth of all this, this newsletter has been particularly challenging to write, and not just because I don’t know what to say, but mostly I don’t know how to express what I’m feeling… words seem so inadequate in these situations, and I find myself helplessly stumbling around in an attempt to get this all into some kind of coherent and impactful form. Hopefully, there will be something of value for you in all this… certainly, I can’t control your experience, but my intention is that you will take something personally meaningful from what I’ve written here today… thank you for allowing me to be of service to you!

PS be sure to return to my blog to get the whole story on this… and, thank you for being here!

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Teleseminars/Archives info: On Thursday, December 11th, Greg and I hosted another teleconference, and we had a great time playing with the largest audience we’ve ever had. Thank you to everyone who participated, especially those new members from the GAGY Facebook site. Your ‘gift’ allows Greg and I to fulfill our desire to be of service to you, and for that we are extremely grateful. We are all working on ways to expand these services… thank you for your patience

You can find the archives of all the past teleseminars on my website, here. Greg also has a link to these archives on his blog site, plus a ton of other info, including a schedule of his upcoming live events and a list of his great books.

ECAP Tip of the Month: The most powerful tool each of us has in overcoming any unwanted belief orImage result for light of awarenesshabit is to bring our full awareness to the situation. By simply being fully present, in a objective, non-judgmental way, we are using the healing light of our awareness to shine away the imagined limitations that we think are preventing us from living more fully. These “old stories” can only exist in the darkness of our denial… what we resist, persists!!

Contact Info: If you want to contact me, set up a free intro session, subscribe to my newsletter, or view an archive of past newsletters, you can visit my website at: BeyondBeliefCoaching.com. If you would like to read or comment on this, or past newsletters, or if you want to peruse my other brilliant offerings, you can visit my blog at Frankly Speaking.

Miscellaneous: One project I’m working on is to present a live video online workshop to explore and explain how to use the ECAP, and the material from Greg’s books, to get the results you are looking for. This will be a free webinar, and will be archived on YouTube as a resource for anyone who wants to know more about playing the game of “Grow A Greater You”… further details will be included in future editions of this newsletter and on Greg’s site.

Also, I am collecting input from my clients, my subscribers, and from anyone else interested in taking part in a journey to explore how we all might take this process to the next level. I will be sharing more information about this as it unfolds, but for now, please feel free to contact me about this if you are so moved.

Quote of the Week: Smoking cigarettes is like stabbing yourself in the chest while believing that it feels good… FMC

NAMASTE!!

Newsletter 8: Our Stories Part 2

What’s Your Story ?

I have recently begun reading Greg Kuhn’s latest book “Why Quantum Physicists Play Grow a Greater You”, and I was inspired to further explore a subject I had initially addressed in Newsletter 3. I’ll go a little deeper here, and try to connect to one of the main themes of Greg’s book (expectations) and how they are the key to manifesting your deepest desires, and how you can change them to get what you what you really want and richly deserve.

First, a Bit of Clarity

I’m a stickler for clarity in language, and I want to be sure we are all on the same page when we discuss this subject. As Greg so eloquently points out in his book , the quantum field isn’t affected by our stories, emotions or beliefs, although they are a contributing factor. The real key to manipulating the quantum field, so that it will manifest your desires, is your largely unconscious expectations. (For a more detailed explanation of that assertion, you’ll have to read his book). Although I agree 100% with this premise, I use a slightly different terminology for it… I call it your personal truth. Your truth is the accumulation of all your stories, beliefs and emotions… some might call it your personality… you may define it as “that’s the way I am”. For the sake of brevity, I won’t go into how we each have formed this picture of who we are, here (again, this is fully explored and explained in some of my earlier newsletters), but I will say that it is the number one determining factor in what we will allow ourselves to receive from the Universe, and colors every aspect of our life experience.

What about Affirmations?

Most of us have heard of (and tried) the power of positive thinking and affirmations. I know of very few people who have actually gotten any meaningful, tangible results from either of these practices… ever wonder why? Pretty simple, really… your subconscious mind wouldn’t accept it… it remained “unmoved” by your new “story”. “But, why not?” you might ask…. Well, the subconscious doesn’t “hear” words… it is mostly an emotional-reactive device, and will follow your wishes quite willingly if you coax it along in small, incrementally better feeling steps.

So, What Will Work??

Considering how long it took you to build your present, unconscious truth/expectation about your worthiness to receive (don’t forget that this all started when you were a little child), you may think that it would be an insurmountable task to change or alter it, and you would be right if it weren’t for one thing: you have a built-in,growfool-proof guidance system that is perfectly designed to help you navigate through this quagmire. In the most simplest of terms, you pick any goal or desire that has seemed to be just out of reach, or has caused you much pain and suffering in the past, you write about how you truly feel about it, now, and begin to tell better feeling stories, that incrementally move you into a “higher” emotional state, until your stories and beliefs (and ultimately, your truth/expectation) are in alignment with your desire. In other words, all you need do is begin to play the game of “Grow a Greater You”!!

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Teleseminars/Archives info: Greg and I host a one hour, totally free teleseminar every Thursday evening at 8 PM EST. We welcome anyone who is interested in exploring how playing the game of “Grow a Greater You” might transform their life. The call-in number is 857 232-0476 and use Access Code 226919 – for a better description, you can visit Greg’s site here.

You can also find the archives on my website, here. Greg also has a link to these archives on his blog site, plus a ton of other info, including a schedule of his upcoming live events and a list of his great books.

ECAP Tip of the Month: This isn’t really a tip, but more of a suggestion… if you found this article interesting or if it invoked any curiosity on your part, as to how you can really and truly have the life of your dreams, please do yourself a huge favor and take advantage of some of the “free stuff” that Greg and I offer. Besides all the explanations, tips and hints that Greg has on his site, I offer a one-hour, no obligation, totally free introductory coaching session that could be just what you are looking for… hey, ya’ never know!

Contact Info: If you want to contact me, set up a free intro session, subscribe to my newsletter, or view an archive of past newsletters, you can visit my website at: BeyondBeliefCoaching.com. If you would like to read or comment on this, or past newsletters, or if you want to peruse my other brilliant offerings, you can just spend some time exploring this sight!

Quote of the Week: “The Truth Will Set You Free”!!

NAMASTE!!

Newsletter 6: How to Prepare Yourself to do the PROCESS

Newsletter 6: How to Prepare Yourself to do the PROCESS

This newsletter will be the beginning of a series that goes into more detail about each step of doing the Emotional Chart Atonement Process (ECAP). Today’s instalment will address the issue of how to prepare yourself for actually doing the process, and, hopefully, it will assist you in getting the most out of the time you invest in it. There are four basic “qualities of self” we’ll be covering here:

1 Cultivate Your Innate Curiosity

I believe that uncovering your “old story” (the source of that unconscious belief that supports and gives credence to your present emotional state) is the most powerful part of this process. To cultivate this natural, innate curiosity, it is very helpful to put aside what you think you already know about your situation, and prepare your mind to discover the deeper, hidden aspects of these stories. An attitude of “not knowing” creates a space for those previously unconscious traits to come to the surface where you can begin this inquiry into those aspects of yourself that are keeping you limited and stuck.

This will also help to “lighten up” and even be more playful about your explorations into these patterns. To me, it would be similar to returning to a child-like mindset of curiosity and exploration… looking at things as if it is the first time you’ve ever seen it, openly and easily exploring every aspect of it…. just for fun of it!

This will lead to statements such as: “I wonder…”, “Isn’t that interesting… ?“, “Wow, I never realized that… !” , “What would happen if…?”, etc. I think it’s pretty easy to see how this would lead to some detachment from the outcome, which would automatically expand your awareness and openness to your relationship to these “stories”.

2 Practicing Compassion for Yourself and Others

Being kind, loving and compassionate toward yourself, and others, who you feel may have been a part of creating these “stories” , will help you immeasurably on this journey of self-discovery. Your personality, beliefs, values and “world view” are an accumulation of personal experiences and associated responses that were a result of your growing and maturing into the person you are now, and although the path you followed is unique to you, the patterns and underlying motivations are universal… everyone does this and each of us is doing the best we can.

Whatever the source of your story was, no matter who was involved, or how you might have perceived the situation, there is no one, nor no thing, to blame for it. Being able to discover and look at all this, non-judgmentally and objectively, will soften the burden on everyone involved, and accelerate your progress in untold ways.

Another area you may find some discomfort in is the discovery that “who you thought you were” (as far as what you thought others thought of you) isn’t in alignment with your real motivations and values. In other words, as you get more honest with yourself, it can be quite disconcerting to get a glimpse of the extent of your “mismatch” between your perception of “you”, and how you’re actually “showing up” in the world. Again, please be kind, understanding and compassionate toward yourself, and others… there’s no one to blame, and you are NOT defective, bad or wrong for being this way.

3 Be Willing to Be Totally Honest with Yourself

This is a quality that is essential in doing this process, yet our society and culture seems to be driven toward superficiality and pretense. This can make it difficult to get in touch with your true, deeper self, and the motivations and “stories” that are keeping you stuck in your present situation. Being willing to cultivate the habit of “radical honesty”, while working with this process, will greatly enhance your ability to discover and let go of those self-sabotaging beliefs and personality traits.

One practice that can be very helpful in this area is to look at your deeper motivations behind your behavior. For example, you may feel that you are a kind and giving person, and you go out of your way to help others in need. While on the surface this may seem like a “positive trait”, upon deeper investigation, you may find that you are acting that way to get recognition and to improve your self-esteem. A clue to this would be feeling good about yourself when you lend a helping hand, but then feeling resentment or diminishment in self-worth if your efforts aren’t noticed and acknowledged.

You may want to remember this maxim: “the truth shall set you free”… although being willing to take an honest look at yourself can be confronting and somewhat uncomfortable, I think it is well worth the effort and time, and is an integral part of returning to your Authentic Self.

4 Trust the Process

One of the most powerful outcomes from doing this process is a closer, more intimate relationship to your Higher Self, and it’s connection to Source. As you let go of those parts of your “little self” that have held your attention for so long, you will automatically start to sense an Inner Guidance growing within you. This Guidance can only be heard by a still, quiet mind, and will never intrude on you, uninvited.

Learning to hear and trust this Guidance will ultimately lead you to a life that is full of Joy, Peace, Love
and Abundance. Since it is your Authentic Self, it has always wanted this for you, and has only been limited to the extent that you were distracted and focused on those lower aspects of your self . This “new” connection will eventually show up as synchronistic events, unexpected life-enhancing manifestations, and “miracles”… you will start to experience life as a flow of ease, effortlessness and pleasant “gifts”!

It is important to remember that it took a while for you get to where you are now, and it will take some time to free yourself from your present life situation. Having trust in the process and giving yourself the time and tools to bring the sought after results into fruition will most assuredly produce the best outcome with the least amount of pain and suffering.

One other bit of advice that goes along with this is: don’t look at external evidence while working with the process. Stay focused on the process, itself, and let go of the temptation to measure what kind of results you are getting in your life. I know this can be difficult, but by trying to calculate how effective this process is by constantly analysing what is going on in your external world, will just slow you down.

In Conclusion

Although this explanation may seem too short, or lacking in detail, I don’t have the time or space to cover every aspect of these important points. My intention is to write a very in-depth manual (book?) about how to implement the ECAP, so, hopefully for now, this will be helpful in some small way to those of you who are on this journey of “Growing a Greater You”.

Here is a short list of some other practices that will enhance your chances of success with the process:

  • Meditation: create some quiet time, and get into a relaxed, meditative state (get grounded in your body), before beginning the process each day. It is also very helpful to incorporate daily meditations into your schedule, especially anything that helps you connect with your “heart center” and your Higher Self.
  • take care of yourself: drink plenty of water, eat as well as you can, get plenty of rest and try to exercise daily (a walk in nature can be very beneficial)
  • ask for help: If you have any kind of “inner helpers” (Guides, Saints, God, Angels, Ascended Masters, Source, Spirit, Jesus, Buddah, etc.) that you feel a connection to, ask them to help you to let go of those things that are preventing you from experiencing your true nature. Turn it over, and let go!

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Teleseminars: As of right now, Greg and I are still doing the teleseminars every Thursday at 8 PM EST, (call 1-443-453-0034 Conference Code: 226919) although we may temporarily suspend them for a month or so this summer. We will make every effort to keep everyone informed as we find out more. In case you missed any of the shows, I’ve added an archive of past recordings (18 as of now) on my website and you can find them at this link.

You can also check out past newsletters on my coaching site, or schedule a free intro session, at this link. You can also spend a little time wandering around this blog… all the past newsletters can be found here, plus a bunch of my other brilliant “stuff”…. ENJOY!!

Greg also has a link to these archives on his blog site, plus a ton of other info, including a schedule of his upcoming live events and a list of his great books.

ECAP Tip of The Week: Whether you are using this process, or some other technique for “evolving” or awakening to your True Self, you will find it very helpful to learn to practice “presence” in your life. All it takes is practising becoming more aware of your internal state on a moment-to-moment basis. One of the best, and simplest techniques is to start to notice how you are breathing. Many of us will actually hold our breath, or breath in a very shallow manner, whenever we are in a stressful situation. Taking a moment to do a “body scan” will help you to be more conscious of your inner state of being, and will greatly enhance your ability to be present during those situations. You might be pleasantly surprised to find that you not only survive it, but that you are now free of that particular limitation.

NAMASTE!!

Newsletter 1 The Journey Begins

And, so, the Journey begins…

Look into the Future

As I stated in my Newsletter Intro, my intention is to assist you in participating in a journey to a place that will excite, empower and fulfill you. As in any journey, there are essential steps that need to be taken to ensure success: a starting point, a destination, a plan to get there and a way to tell if you’re on course. Naturally, you will need to “move” in order to get there, but what’s really cool about this trip is that, as soon as you start the process, you’ll be on the way. With that in mind, let’s look at the first step:

Where are you now?

This may seem to be an obvious or unnecessary question to many people, but I believe it is one of the most crucial steps in any successful journey. Do you really know where you are right now? Have you ever stopped to ask that question at a very deep level? Most of us would simply look around and say: “well, I’m right here! I’m in my living room, in front of the computer, reading this weird stuff, and wondering where this is taking me!”. While, on the surface, that may seem to be a fairly accurate observation, it only addresses the obvious and doesn’t get to the root of the problem. To better understand what we’re searching for, it will help to ask yourself a few thought-provoking questions. (NOTE: to get the most out of this exercise and the subsequent articles in this series, it will be very helpful to actually write down the answers to these questions. I suggest keeping a journal):

What is your present physical condition? Are you comfortable? Is there any pain or discomfort in your body? Where is it and how severe is it? Do you feel that the condition causing the pain or discomfort is under control? On a scale of 1-10, what would you say your overall physical condition is? What would it feel like to have your body be just the way you want it? What beliefs would a person have to have in order to create such a situation? Do you feel guilty or blame yourself for any of it, or are you just a victim of circumstances?

The Striatum; part of the basal ganglia; neura...

These questions are certainly not an exhaustive list, and barely scratch the surface, yet they are a good starting point. The goal of this exercise is to take the time to look more deeply and honestly into who and what you are right now. So far, I’ve just begun to explore the physical aspect of “where am I, now”… Let’s explore what else needs to be included in this initial, yet crucial, step…

What else is there?

Each of us, in our here and now, is a sum total of a number of aspects, including, but not limited to: physical/health, mental, spiritual/religion, career/job/money, relationships, etc. These aspects are created, controlled and experienced through our beliefs, values, thoughts and behaviors. Understanding and accepting how this all constitutes the YOU that exists at this moment, is of the utmost importance in any attempt to move beyond your present state of being. In fact, coming to terms with all of this will ultimately ease much of your present suffering… you can’t let go of what you don’t know you are holding onto!

I’m not saying that you are a “bad person”, or that you need to completely start over… far from it; you simply need to take an honest self-assessment, choose which aspects you’d like to keep and learn how to let go of those things that are preventing you from becoming the person you want to be. We’ll explore all of that as we advance on this journey, but for now, I want to leave you with something that will actually move you closer to your desired outcome.

Start Here:

Make a commitment, right now, to take the first steps toward creating a life that will really turn you on… you know, that “I can’t wait to get out of bed in the morning” feeling that most of us had when we were kids. That desire has never left you, despite the challenges you seem to face in your life, today. We all get caught up in the stress and complications of daily living, but deep inside each of us is that child who still knows how to live authentically and wants to play full-out, every moment of every day. I promise you that, no matter what your circumstances are at this particular moment, YOU can have that kind of enthusiasm and excitement back in your life again! And, no, I don’t have a magic wand or a secret formula… all I have is exactly what you  already have: the ability to see things as they are, and a willingness to change. Please… stop making excuses for why you can’t have, be, or do, as you would like to, and begin to open your mind to the possibility that you not only CAN “have it all”, but furthermore, it needn’t be a painful struggle. YOU get to decide what you want, and YOU get to fulfill your new dreams and YOU get to create a life that empowers, enlivens and fulfills YOU, starting right NOW!!

That all sounds great, but HOW?

The Dream

Are you starting to dream, even just a little bit? Do you at least wonder if this is possible? Do you feel a little excited? Wherever you are with all this, please stop a moment and take that first step… hell, it doesn’t cost you anything except letting go of some old, limiting beliefs. Just stop believing in the story you’ve been telling yourself and open up to this new possibility. You can always  return to your old beliefs if you feel this isn’t working for you.. they will still be there if you decide to go back. So, what do you have to lose? What will it cost you to “try it on”?? To me, even a minimal improvement is worth the tiny investment that is being asked.

The Bottom Line:

Okay, so what exactly am I asking you to do? As I said earlier, start a journal or notebook dedicated to this experiment. Name it something that reflects what you’d like to accomplish. Maybe: “My New Life”, “I Can Do it”, “The Journey to My Dreams”… whatever feels right for you. You can also create a text file using any word processor. Start taking a little time each day, preferably in the morning, and begin to describe, in as much detail as possible, who and what you are at this moment. Write about as many aspects of your life as you feel comfortable with and only go as long as it feels good. Some of this might be a little confronting, so I’m not saying it will all be fun, but if you can stay with it through these periods, the rewards will far outweigh the efforts. As always, you can visit my blog, Frankly Speaking, where you can comment and share your thoughts, insights and questions. Or, if you’d really like to accelerate the process, you can always visit my website, Beyond Belief Coaching, and schedule a free sample coaching session. My next weekly installment will assist you in fleshing this out and taking the next step toward creating the future of your dreams. NAMASTE!!

 

It’s 2013! Welcome to the New Year!!

Hi, All…

I’d like to start off by apologizing to my many followers… I’ve been quite remiss in posting here on a regular basis, but I promise to do better in the future, starting right now!

My last post was about my new coaching classes, so I’ll give a short update on that. It is going very well and has been very challenging and enlightening on many levels. I have much to share about the many trials, tribulations and breakthroughs I’ve experienced along the way, but I’ll leave that for my next entry. Right now, I’d like to focus on something that seems to be on everybody’s minds at this time of year: New Years resolutions.

I’ve spent much time over the last few weeks examining my life and contemplating what changes I need to make that will really make 2013 a smashing success. In the process, I’ve been faced with  the troubling reality of my past attempts: regardless of what goals I set, no matter how hard I’ve tried, and in spite of my best intentions, I’ve never been able to adhere to any of my previous lists. I had finally given up and decided to just leave things as they were and continue on as usual. But then, at 3 AM this morning, I was hit by this powerful insight: keep it simple, stupid (otherwise know as KISS)!! As I sat up, wide awake, in my bed, I realized I had to get this brilliant idea down on paper (or, rather, entered into my text editor) to prepare it for world-wide dispersal. Below, you will find the results of my efforts… enjoy, comment and share:

My 2013 resolutions:

1. I will close my eyes and sleep when I’m tired; I will open my eyes and get out of bed when I’m fully rested.
If I’m asleep when most people are awake, I’ll call it meditation; if I’m awake when most people are asleep, I’ll call it inspiration.

2. When my eyes are open, I’ll see only what I want to see; when my eyes are closed, I’ll be sleeping or meditating.

3. I’ll speak only when my mouth is open; I’ll only chew when it isn’t.
I’ll never say or write anything I don’t want to hear. I’ll never chew anything I don’t want to swallow.

4. I’ll eat when I’m hungry; I’ll stop when I’m full. I’ll only eat what is on my plate.

5. I’ll exercise whenever I’m moving; I’ll do yoga the rest of the time.

6. I’ll use my ears to listen, my nose to smell and my tongue to taste.

7. I’ll inhale when I need air; I’ll exhale soon after that.

8. I’ll use my brain to think and my mind to dream.

9. I’ll be happy when I choose to be; otherwise, I’ll be OK where I am.

10. I’ll use all my other body parts for the function they’re intended, as needed at the appropriate times.

I’ll modify, edit and re-do this list as I find new and better things that I can easily accomplish 100% of the time. Although I’m totally open to suggestions, in the end, I’ll only do what feels best for me. Feel free to apply this list to your life… I guarantee you will be successful and content with the results. Please do not ask me to explain or teach these revolutionary ideas… I’m too busy enjoying my new life to waste my time trying to get people to do what they already do.

So, there you have it… can’t get much simpler (or easier) than that. In conclusion, I’d like to wish each of you the best in the coming year and leave you with another deep, thought-provoking quote: “if you keep heading the direction you’re going, you’ll eventually get there”, or something like that. Anyway, enjoy yourself as best you can… there’s no guarantee you’ll get another chance!

See ya’ on the flip side…..

 

Quantum Life Coaching (Part 3)

 

New Insights

As the start date for my new coaching classes approach, I find myself contemplating how this new career will impact my life. I’ve been exploring  many coaching websites and trying to understand their styles and philosophies, and, at times, I’ve sampled some of their techniques. Here are some of my insights and impressions:

  •  There is an almost infinite number of choices for anyone seeking help in taking control of their lives. Although I can’t judge how efficient or effective these coaches are in getting the desired results, there certainly is no lack in variety.
  • It seems that most coaches are focusing on a “specialized area” (otherwise known as a niche), but will still work with almost anyone on any set of “challenges”, AND they assert that they ALL have  the SECRET “tool” that will positively guarantee the client’s success.
  • Even though their are many individuals already playing the coaching game, there is till plenty of room for growth, but there is no regulatory agency nor any centralized, universally recognized certifying organization…. anyone can put up a sign and claim they are a life coach.

If you take all this into consideration, it would seem to be confusing, and possibly dangerous,  for anyone contemplating entering into a working relationship with a coach. However, to counter this assertion, it seems that most clients are more than satisfied with the results they are getting and most groups who monitor the coaching sector agree that this field is healthy and expanding at a very high rate. To me, it seems to be a win-win-win career: client’s get what they want (hopefully, more than they expect), I get the personal satisfaction of assisting another in their evolution, and I create a source of income that is directly linked to how effective I am as a coach. And, oh yeah, this all helps me grow in every area of my life…. PERFECTO!!

Advice to potential clients and coaches

If you are considering life coaching, either as a career or as a source of guidance for your journey, I’ve got a few suggestions:

  • Do your homework, and listen to your intuition…. check out as many different styles and philosophies as you can; most coaches offer a free session as an introduction… try out a couple and see what “feels right” for you.
  • If you’re considering a coaching career, try a session with a coach who has completed that particular training… see how you like that style and how effective it was for you. It is probably worth hiring a coach, at least for a while, to help you make the decision.
  • Coaching is much more about heart connections than it is about defining and adhering to a set of life rules. If you don’t feel connected to a coach, try someone else. If you don’t think you can acquire the skills needed to become an effective yet loving coach, yourself, please understand that you have many gifts and talents that the world needs… don’t sell yourself short. You don’t have to be living a “perfect” life to be helpful to someone else in their journey.

What I’m excited about

 Since I made the commitment to renew my coaching career,  I can feel a “quickening” inside me… I wake each day, looking forward to new discoveries and the many synchronicities that keep happening to me. The doubts have disappeared and a quite, calm sureness has entered my mind and soul, and each moment brings the excitement of new possibilities and opportunities. I’ve been visualizing all the successes I’ll experience and my internal dialogue has been filled with affirmations and positive conversations. I have to add here that none of this has been forced or manufactured… it has happened naturally and automatically as I move along this new journey… I feel totally inspired and intimately guided by my Higher self. I have much more to share about this, but need to end this post soon… I’ll be adding more in the future as I travel along this path… thank you from the bottom of my heart for joining me and I hope you will continue to share your thoughts and comments here so we can all play, together.